DeserTBob's life story

The Punisher wrote:
DESERTBOB'S LIFE SUCKS....he was:


1. ...so poor growing up ... if he wasn't a boy ... he'd have had
nothing to play with.

2. A girl phoned him the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's
home." He went over. Nobody was home.

3. During sex, his ex-wife always wants to talk to him. Just the other
night she called him from a hotel.

4. One day he came home early from work ...he saw a guy jogging naked.
He said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" The jogger
answered "Because you came home early."

5. He got up this morning ... put a shirt on and a button fell off. He
picked up his briefcase, and the handle came off. Now he's afraid to go
to the bathroom.

6. He was such an ugly kid...When he played in the sandbox, the cat
kept covering him up.

7. He could tell his parents hated him. His bath toys were a toaster
and radio.

8. He was such an ugly baby...his mother never breast fed him. She told
him that she only liked him as a friend.

9. He's so ugly...his father carries around a picture of the kid who
came with his wallet.

10. When he was born, the doctor came into the waiting room and said to
his father, "I'm sorry. We did everything we could, but he pulled
through."

11. He's so ugly...his mother had morning sickness...AFTER he was born.


12. He was kidnapped once as a kid- and they sent a piece of his finger
to his father. His father said he wanted more proof.

13. Once when he was lost as a child, he saw a policeman, and asked him
to help find his parents. He said to policeman, "Do you think we'll
ever find them?" The policeman answered, "I don't know kid. There's so
many places they can hide."

14. His ex-wife made him join a bridge club. He jumps off next Tuesday.


15. He's so ugly...he worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how
big he'd get.

16. He went to see a doctor. He told the doctor, "Doctor, every morning
when I get up and I look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up;
What's wrong with me?" The doctor replied..."I don't know, but your
eyesight is perfect."

17. He went to the doctor because he'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping
pills. His doctor told him to have a few drinks and get some rest.

18. He received no love from his father as a child. He asked his
father, "How can I get my kite in the air?" His father told him to run
off a cliff.

19. Some dog he has. The dog's name is Egypt, because in every room he
leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in DeserTBob's arm. Last night
the dog went on the paper four times -three of those times DeserTBob
was reading it.

20. One year they wanted to make DeserTBob a poster boy - for birth
control.

21. DeserTBob's uncle had a dying wish- to have DeserTBob sitting in
his lap; the uncle was in the electric chair.


(laughter...) BB the uggo takes a hit !

On 20 Aug 2006 15:49:49 -0700, "The Punished"
wrote:

CHUCKIE NOODLES' LIFE SUCKS....he was:

.....disowned by Papa Noodles for being a pothead in school and
screwing up his nepotism-paved job at King Fifth Wheel so bad that...

....Papa Noodles disowned him!

....Papa Noodles gave Christopher the land next door to Villa di
Famiglia Noodles.

....Chuckie Noodles got the shaft...and rightfully so!

DeserTBoB wrote:
On 20 Aug 2006 15:49:49 -0700, "The Punished"
wrote:

CHUCKIE NOODLES' LIFE SUCKS....he was:

....disowned by Papa Noodles for being a pothead in school and
screwing up his nepotism-paved job at King Fifth Wheel so bad that...

...Papa Noodles disowned him!

...Papa Noodles gave Christopher the land next door to Villa di
Famiglia Noodles.

...Chuckie Noodles got the shaft...and rightfully so!


-18 and falling

On 20 Aug 2006 15:49:49 -0700, "The Punisher"
wrote:

CHUCKIE NOODLES' LIFE SUCKS....he was:

.....disowned by Papa Noodles for being a pothead in school and
screwing up his nepotism-paved job at King Fifth Wheel so bad that...

....Papa Noodles disowned him!

....Papa Noodles gave Christopher the land next door to Villa di
Famiglia Noodles.

....Chuckie Noodles got the shaft...and rightfully so!